I look back on my past relationships and I’m so surprised with how I handled some things. As I get older, my thinking is a little more clear and I’ve opened my eyes to a lot of things. So many people in relationships (myself included) feel they deserve the world and everything in it, waiting for their significant other to give it to them. What they don’t realize is that they need to dish out the same type of love. Don’t expect to be treated well if you can’t treat them the same way. Things must be mutual or one person will not feel fulfilled. When love comes into play, we can all get a little selfish and not act so level-headed at times. For the first time, I feel like I’m in a healthy relationship that is teaching me positive things, instead of “what not to do.”
1. Try to understand where your partner is coming from before freaking out on them. This is a huge sign of maturity.
2. Ask questions before assuming something. (This one can be challenging but at least try!)
3. Stop acting the same way you did in high school. You aren’t 17 anymore, start acting like it. The older you get, the more seriously relationships should be taken. (If it is what you’re looking for)
4. Communicate with one another. I have come to realize that the longer you wait to discuss something, the harder it is and it comes out worse than it would have at the time the problem occurred.
5. Let each other have space. Go out with your friends while they go out with theirs. It’s healthy to spend some time away from each other and have your own lives.
6. Trust them to do the right thing. Sometimes you should leave the dirty work to them. If it’s something they can handle, then let them. This is something I have learned recently as well, it’s not always easy to avoid getting involved when you feel the need to. But doing so will prove you took the higher road and are the better person. And again, you aren’t in high school anymore.
7. You can voice your opinion without it being shut down. The right person will listen to your opinions and issues without being judgmental. They lift you higher instead of bringing you down.
8. Be proud of one another. No matter what the two of you have going on, support each other and show them you want them to get to where they want to be as bad as they do.
9. Don’t let social media ruin things. Ahhh… what most young people and even some older, have issues with. We have all had some social media incidents but this is where the understanding and trusting them to do the right thing comes into play. Discuss things with them, let them know what is alright with you and what isn’t. At the end of the day, most of these kinds of arguments are silly and not worth arguing over. Unfortunately, most of us realize this well after the fact.
10. Make sure they know how much you appreciate them. Even for the little things (which usually end up being the big things) No matter what anyone says, we all want to feel appreciated for the sweet things we do.