Category Archives: growth

Less is More?

less-but-better

Do you ever feel like sometimes you would feel more fulfilled with less? I recently watched a documentary on Netflix called Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things and it opened my eyes to how a large percentage of our society feels the need to buy things, giving them a temporary sense of fulfillment, when in reality, they are trying to fill some sort of void in their lives.

We live in a day and age where people’s lives are constantly documented through social media, giving a certain perception to others. Most of these perceptions are not real – no one is going to document the struggles, because who wants to see those, right? So we post about anything from job promotions, engagements, weddings and babies to dinner dates with friends and good deeds we did that day (did you know you can do a good deed without posting on Facebook about it? Crazy, right?!)

While watching the documentary, one part struck me and has been stuck in my head ever since. A man who used to work on Wall Street had decided to try out Minimalism after he was offered a huge promotion. He already had his own office, and was probably making a pretty decent salary already, and the promotion offer opened his eyes. After he received the offer, he said he wept inside his office, realizing he was now even more trapped than before.

[Thought] – Can so much security make you feel stuck? Like you can never leave or that security will go away?

This Wall Street man had finally received what he had been waiting for all this time. Or so he thought. Not everyone is built for corporate, structured, 9-5 life. And that’s okay. But society has a way of making us feel like we’re doing something wrong if we don’t follow what everyone else is doing, in the exact same order they’re doing it. This part of the documentary was small, but it spoke to me so much. There is so much more throughout the film that will open your eyes.

minimalism-quote

I’m beginning to think this is all just an illusion we create in our minds, because we think that’s how it’s supposed to be. Did you ever think you could maybe be happier with less? Less clothes, less designer handbags and shoes, less clutter, even less income. Money may make things a bit easier, but it won’t all of a sudden turn you into a happy person. We have hopes and dreams, and us humans love the chase.

But, what happens when we reach our goal? Have we instantly gained complete and utter happiness? Probably not. Our dreams sometimes come along with baggage. Baggage that leads to an overwhelming stress and a realization that maybe this is not really something we wanted the burden of carrying. But, because we’re told it is what we should aspire for, we chase, chase, chase… until we arrive at our destination only to come to become aware that it wasn’t for us in the first place.

After watching this documentary, it does not mean I’m all of a sudden going to sell all my things and get by with just a few items. But, it does make you realize that you can declutter other parts of your life that are far too overwhelming. Use it a a metaphor, declutter your mind and get rid of all that makes you unhappy. You do not need to follow what everyone else is doing and you do not need to purchase the most recent styles and trends to maintain or gain happiness. Letting go can be liberating. 

clutter.jpg

You do not need to be engaged just because you and your partner have been dating for years, you do not need to have an extravagant wedding to please others and keep their mouth’s shut. You do not need to make a certain amount of money just so you can sit across from an acquaintance one day and brag about your job title. You do not need to have a piece of paper to show you can start a family and you do not need to take the opinion of others and turn it into your own.

There isn’t enough time for this, we grow older each second, and one day we will regret making our lives about everyone else. And as I type this, I’m telling myself along with you. I need to listen to these words as well, each and every day.

Check out the ‘Minimalism’ trailer below and watch the full documentary on Netflix.

Click here to follow Joshua & Ryan, “The Minimalists” on Facebook!

Advertisements

10 Things A Healthy Relationship Has Taught Me Over a Year

couple under umbrella

I look back on my past relationships and I’m so surprised with how I handled some things. As I get older, my thinking is a little more clear and I’ve opened my eyes to a lot of things. So many people in relationships (myself included) feel they deserve the world and everything in it, waiting for their significant other to give it to them. What they don’t realize is that they need to dish out the same type of love. Don’t expect to be treated well if you can’t treat them the same way. Things must be mutual or one person will not feel fulfilled. When love comes into play, we can all get a little selfish and not act so level-headed at times. For the first time, I feel like I’m in a healthy relationship that is teaching me positive things, instead of “what not to do.”

1. Try to understand where your partner is coming from before freaking out on them. This is a huge sign of maturity.

2. Ask questions before assuming something. (This one can be challenging but at least try!)

3. Stop acting the same way you did in high school. You aren’t 17 anymore, start acting like it. The older you get, the more seriously relationships should be taken. (If it is what you’re looking for)

4. Communicate with one another. I have come to realize that the longer you wait to discuss something, the harder it is and it comes out worse than it would have at the time the problem occurred.

5. Let each other have space. Go out with your friends while they go out with theirs. It’s healthy to spend some time away from each other and have your own lives.

6. Trust them to do the right thing. Sometimes you should leave the dirty work to them. If it’s something they can handle, then let them. This is something I have learned recently as well, it’s not always easy to avoid getting involved when you feel the need to. But doing so will prove you took the higher road and are the better person. And again, you aren’t in high school anymore.

7. You can voice your opinion without it being shut down. The right person will listen to your opinions and issues without being judgmental. They lift you higher instead of bringing you down.

8. Be proud of one another. No matter what the two of you have going on, support each other and show them you want them to get to where they want to be as bad as they do.

9. Don’t let social media ruin things. Ahhh… what most young people and even some older, have issues with. We have all had some social media incidents but this is where the understanding and trusting them to do the right thing comes into play. Discuss things with them, let them know what is alright with you and what isn’t. At the end of the day, most of these kinds of arguments are silly and not worth arguing over. Unfortunately, most of us realize this well after the fact.

10. Make sure they know how much you appreciate them. Even for the little things (which usually end up being the big things) No matter what anyone says, we all want to feel appreciated for the sweet things we do.

Self Love

Self Love

Loving yourself is so important. Letting go of things that are unhealthy for you is a GOOD thing. It may be hard at first, not matter what it is, but in the end you will thank yourself! Letting go of certain things means you are growing as a person and should only be seen as a positive thing. Once you start to doubt yourself, there is way too much room for other poisons in your brain. You will continue on a self-hating rant. Wouldn’t you rather a self-loving rant instead?

What I Would Like to Accomplish by the Time I Turn 25

Image

Turning 25 seems like a big deal for me. It’s not like turning 22 or 23… you still feel young at those ages. For me, just turning 24 scared me knowing it was one year closer to 25. Since I was little I have always looked at 25 year-olds as people who were so grown up and had everything they wanted. Now that I’m reaching this age that is half way to 30 (eek) I am realizing I was very wrong thinking this! I thought by now I would have my college degree and have a good job and maybe even be engaged to someone. (This was my thinking when I was like, 15/16 years old) Boy, was I wrong again. I never knew that I would end up not having my degree due to finances, be at an OK job and not be engaged. I’m ok with the engagement thing because now that I’ve reached 24 I feel I am too young for that anyway. I’m in a relationship and I hope it comes to that one day, until then, I wait. I also remember thinking I would have such a nice car and go out drinking to places in NYC all the time. Ha! All that requires a good amount of money. I’m in the middle of saving what I can, but the last thing on my mind is having a nice, lavish car to drive around in. The point is… things don’t really ever end up the way you think. I’m in shock that my 25th birthday is this year. It makes me kind of nervous knowing I haven’t achieved certain things yet, but I always try to remind myself that not everyone knows their path right away. It also makes me want to do everything that I’ve ever dreamed of doing because life goes by so fast and I want to make the most of it while I’m still in my 20’s.

What I Would Like to Accomplish by the Time I Turn 25 (which is in 8 months)

  • Write a short story
  • Have a specific amount of money saved up
  • Have another trip planned
  • Have my credit cards paid off
  • Reach at least 300 followers on my blog
  • A healthy, fit body inside & out
  • Participate in another writing contest
  • More positive thinking

I will continue to add on to this last in the next few months and in September I will look back and see what I have accomplished!