Tag Archives: life

How Do You Measure Your Success?

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If you look up the definition of the word “successful,” it has two different meanings. “Accomplishing an aim or purpose” and “Having achieved popularity, profit, or distinction.”

What comes to mind when you think of success? Both in general and personally? Do you find it to be all about the money? Or do you feel it’s about your happiness, health and well-being?

We all have a different meaning of success, and different goals we set for ourselves. Depending on who we are, our success can mean something totally different from that of our friend, family member, coworker, etc.

A couple of blog posts ago, I mentioned a documentary I watched called “Minimalism: A Documentary About The Important Things.” I was re-watching the documentary last night (yes, it’s that good!) and something I caught that I didn’t notice as much the first time around was when they mentioned SUCCESS and its meaning.

It opened my eyes to the fact that my idea of success could be completely different than everyone else’s. And that I am the person who sets my goals and considers something to be a success or not. My idea of success doesn’t have to be having a  certain number in my bank account, or a certain amount in my paycheck – which most would think about when hearing the word success.

As humans we pressure ourselves, and nowadays with technology, we pressure ourselves even more because of what we see, thinking about how we think things are “supposed to be.” Saying things to ourselves like “I should have my dream job by now.” “I should have more money in the bank.” “I should be getting engaged and married soon because everyone else my age is.” “So many people I know are having babies, that probably means I should soon, too.”

Geez, it never seems to be enough for us, right? Or maybe for others? Either way, we don’t give ourselves enough of credit. The documentary touches on this subject as well – how we are constantly “on the hunt” – never seeming to be satisfying with what we have, always in search of “something more.”

We not only pressure ourselves, but it is also received from others as well, whether they realize it or not. And sometimes it’s hard to ignore their opinions, and we subconsciously listen to them at times.

Imagine how much further in life we could go if we only followed our own successes? Whether we wanted the perfect home for our future kids, or to be able to travel the world, or volunteer somewhere and help those in need, or to simply live a life that you just want to live – without being put under the pressure of thinking we need the same successes as others?

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Less is More?

less-but-better

Do you ever feel like sometimes you would feel more fulfilled with less? I recently watched a documentary on Netflix called Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things and it opened my eyes to how a large percentage of our society feels the need to buy things, giving them a temporary sense of fulfillment, when in reality, they are trying to fill some sort of void in their lives.

We live in a day and age where people’s lives are constantly documented through social media, giving a certain perception to others. Most of these perceptions are not real – no one is going to document the struggles, because who wants to see those, right? So we post about anything from job promotions, engagements, weddings and babies to dinner dates with friends and good deeds we did that day (did you know you can do a good deed without posting on Facebook about it? Crazy, right?!)

While watching the documentary, one part struck me and has been stuck in my head ever since. A man who used to work on Wall Street had decided to try out Minimalism after he was offered a huge promotion. He already had his own office, and was probably making a pretty decent salary already, and the promotion offer opened his eyes. After he received the offer, he said he wept inside his office, realizing he was now even more trapped than before.

[Thought] – Can so much security make you feel stuck? Like you can never leave or that security will go away?

This Wall Street man had finally received what he had been waiting for all this time. Or so he thought. Not everyone is built for corporate, structured, 9-5 life. And that’s okay. But society has a way of making us feel like we’re doing something wrong if we don’t follow what everyone else is doing, in the exact same order they’re doing it. This part of the documentary was small, but it spoke to me so much. There is so much more throughout the film that will open your eyes.

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I’m beginning to think this is all just an illusion we create in our minds, because we think that’s how it’s supposed to be. Did you ever think you could maybe be happier with less? Less clothes, less designer handbags and shoes, less clutter, even less income. Money may make things a bit easier, but it won’t all of a sudden turn you into a happy person. We have hopes and dreams, and us humans love the chase.

But, what happens when we reach our goal? Have we instantly gained complete and utter happiness? Probably not. Our dreams sometimes come along with baggage. Baggage that leads to an overwhelming stress and a realization that maybe this is not really something we wanted the burden of carrying. But, because we’re told it is what we should aspire for, we chase, chase, chase… until we arrive at our destination only to come to become aware that it wasn’t for us in the first place.

After watching this documentary, it does not mean I’m all of a sudden going to sell all my things and get by with just a few items. But, it does make you realize that you can declutter other parts of your life that are far too overwhelming. Use it a a metaphor, declutter your mind and get rid of all that makes you unhappy. You do not need to follow what everyone else is doing and you do not need to purchase the most recent styles and trends to maintain or gain happiness. Letting go can be liberating. 

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You do not need to be engaged just because you and your partner have been dating for years, you do not need to have an extravagant wedding to please others and keep their mouth’s shut. You do not need to make a certain amount of money just so you can sit across from an acquaintance one day and brag about your job title. You do not need to have a piece of paper to show you can start a family and you do not need to take the opinion of others and turn it into your own.

There isn’t enough time for this, we grow older each second, and one day we will regret making our lives about everyone else. And as I type this, I’m telling myself along with you. I need to listen to these words as well, each and every day.

Check out the ‘Minimalism’ trailer below and watch the full documentary on Netflix.

Click here to follow Joshua & Ryan, “The Minimalists” on Facebook!

Speed Bumps

While doing your best to stay on track physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. – it is important that we remind ourselves it is okay to have our bad days.  Bad days are needed, and are necessary for one’s growth, to teach us that speed bumps will pop up, but they will not stop us. Deal with the speed bump that has been placed in your path, recognize it, acknowledge that it is there, and get over it. There is no need to keep going over it. It was there, it messed with your speed a bit, slowing you down for a brief amount of time, but now you are over it. You can now get back up to speed again.

As a Child, The Options Were Endless

dont disappoint yourself

I am 26 years old. I remember being little thinking those my age really had their shit together. “I’m going to have a nice car to drive around in and a beautiful house with a white picket fence for my gorgeous family to live in.” – just some of the thoughts I had when I was younger. I also thought I’d be married by now, maybe even have a kid.

Man, what little I knew back then. 

Now, I realize how much work is needed to achieve those things. You can’t just get married for the hell of it, which a lot seem to do now-a-days. Hey, you’ll get a ton of likes on Facebook and Instagram though, right? The sacred bond of marriage seems to have slowly dwindled away the past few years. Some couples jump right into it just to change their Facebook relationship status to “engaged.” And don’t even get me started on the cost of a wedding! Sheesh! If only I put money aside with those cut outs of wedding dresses when I was younger…

And the kid thing, everyone around me is having children. And don’t get me wrong, I am at that age now where this is supposed to happen. And it’s absolutely beautiful and I can’t wait to have my own little bundle of joy one day. But… just like marriage, it’s the cool thing to do. So many kids having kids and people expecting you to have them by a certain age!

Me? I want to be 150% okay with myself before bringing a child into this world. Why? Because they deserve me at my very best. And my twenties have been… well, a learning experience. I’ve changed and grown into someone who I’m in awe of at times. And others times I’m angry with myself, but it’s all a part of the growing process.

I am 26 years old and things did not pan out quite the way I thought they would. And that is okay. It’s okay! Things don’t always go as planned and that only means there is something else in store for you that you were not able to “plan” for.

Keep going and moving forward… no matter how slow you may think you’re moving, you’re still going forward, and forward is the right direction. 

An Interesting Read…

“The kind of life that makes one feel empty and shallow and superficial, that makes one dread to read and dread to think, can’t be good for one, can it?” asked literary legend Willa Cather when pondering the trade aspiring creatives must so often make between pursuing their creative passions and working to pay the … Continue reading One letter from Charles Bukowski will make you want to quit your job and become a writer

via One letter from Charles Bukowski will make you want to quit your job and become a writer — nothingintherulebook